vigeantumblog

Screw Systems, Use Seabirds!

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 21:12:00 -0400

Boss: If this system doesn't pick up soon we will have to keep track of our inventory on an albatross.
*Luke stares blankly*
*Moment of silence*
*Luke starts trying to understand the reference.... hmmm... keep track of our inventory on a large sea bird? I don't get it. Is this a common expression? Everyone else seems to be in agreement... How am I not getting this? Think vigeant! Think! Plucking a feather from the bird every time an order is created and feeding it a fish every time we buy stock? No! That won't work... How did I make it so far in life... What am I...*thought interrupted*
Boss: Shit, that's not the word... what's that beady thing called?
Luke: Ohhhhh an Abacus!
*Luke's brain. Phhhhew - You are still smart kiddo!*

Video

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 21:03:56 -0400

No Blogging today (again)

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 22:51:57 -0400

Angry at someone? Take it out on Hyundai… just because…. break all hyundais.

Yes, I am at laser quest right now

Sat, 16 Aug 2008 14:24:35 -0400

Yes, I am at laser quest right now

I went to montanas for lunch, I am still a 10 year old boy

Fri, 15 Aug 2008 15:57:05 -0400

I went to montanas for lunch, I am still a 10 year old boy

I Finished This Book Five Minutes Ago

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 21:45:37 -0400

Is it still trendy to read Douglas Coupland? I hope so! This was quite a sad read, but quite a good read! Of course, by read I mean listen… as audible.com provided me with a digital copy (A service Leo Laporte coerced me into signing up for).

This books has four distinct acts. I had trouble getting as into the third act, but the fourth made up for it.

If you do not know what this book is about I recommend not reading a synopsis and diving straight in to the novel! It will be all the more interesting. That said, if you have issues with the concepts of death, violence, religion, and existentialism with a bit of depressing twinge I would stay away.

Very good Mr.Coupland, thank you kindly.

Photo

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 22:24:18 -0400

Photo

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 22:23:50 -0400

I wonder...

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 22:13:08 -0400

Since I started working at my new client I drive the same route, at roughly the same time, every day. This drive takes me over an hour, and if I were to have to brave this drive without any form of stimulation it would be soul-crushing.

Because of this there are many things that I do to pass the time. Most of these things involve listening to things: Podcasts, Music, Audiobooks, people talking to me on the phone, and sometimes myself think.

To share the load between my senses, I have recently started noticing something with my friend ‘the eyes’. I have noticed that I share my daily commute with many of the same people every day. Whether it is ‘Always drives faster than me IS300’, ‘I drive slow, but I always drive a car better than yours Black Audi TT’, or ‘I talk on my cellphone the entire time I am in my Cavalier business casual man’.

There are some cars I don’t like: ‘Better Version of Me in a White GTI’, and ‘Too fast, too furious, too middle management, silver honda civic’.

There are some cars I do like: ‘I drive a Kia rio but I am kind of cute above the shoulders’, and ‘You move I move, just like that Honda CRV’ whose path I follow when weaving through traffic.

It’s neat to know that I know which exits some cars get off on. It’s weird to know that I recognize people who probably don’t recognize me.

I wonder…

Does the owner of the CRV like when I follow him? Does Kia Rio know I exist, yet have a peg leg making her very unattractive?

Maybe one day I will ask.

Two Things I am Currently Too Addicted to

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 21:42:31 -0400

1) The Musical Stylings of ‘Justice’.

2) The Olympic Games.

My friend Lizzie came over and we drew a picture for an hour -...

Tue, 12 Aug 2008 20:49:07 -0400

My friend Lizzie came over and we drew a picture for an hour - pretty special

china should have ran their opening ceremony light show on an...

Tue, 12 Aug 2008 00:28:00 -0400

china should have ran their opening ceremony light show on an apple

Zip.ca

Sun, 10 Aug 2008 23:24:23 -0400

Joan: Hey Luke, a movie arrived for you today from Zip.ca.
Luke: Oh really! Sweet, what movie is it?
Joan: I haven't opened it yet.
Luke: Open it, my guess is that it's across the universe.
*Joan opens the envelope*
Joan: OH MY GOD, YOU WERE RIGHT! IT IS!
*2 Days Pass*
Joan: Hey sweetie, a new movie arrived in the mail. Is it ok if I open it?
Luke: Sure, my guess is that it is short circuit.
Joan: OH MY GOD YOU WERE RIGHT! IT IS!
*3 Days Pass*
Joan: Hey lukey, 2 movies arrived in the mail today from zip.ca and I opened them up!
Luke: Oh, what came? Cars and Die Hard?
Joan: YES! THOSE ARE THE EXACT TWO MOVIES THAT CAME! HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS?
Luke: Oh my, did you think I was actually just guessing them correctly?
Joan: Yes! That is what I found remarkable as you have over 50 in the queue that can come at any time.
Luke: I receive an e-mail every time they ship a movie joany...
Joan: Well isn't that delightful.

Qwerty

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 22:43:32 -0400

Hello Oakville Hydro?

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 22:32:00 -0400

Luke: Hi there, you keep on calling my cell phone insisting that my non-existant hydro bill is overdue.
Oakville Hydro: What?
Luke: I am receiving calls to my cell phone telling me I owe you money for Hydro - which is impossible.
Oakville Hydro: Well, let's check the system. What is your phone number?
Luke: Well, it is: (###) ###-#### - But that is beside the point as I don't have a hydro account.
Oakville Hydro: Yes, we have not received a payment against the account associated with that number.
Luke: I believe you. But, the person you are talking to is not the person associated against that number.
Oakville Hydro: What? How? Am I speaking to Mr.Ramsay?
Luke: No, my name is Luke. Also, I don't have a hydro bill, I still live at home... I am a kid. Listen to me, do I sound like I am old enough to have a hydro bill? I think that I inherited the number of our friend, the delinquent Mr.Ramsay.
Oakville Hydro: What? Ok, I get it.
Luke: Ok, so can I get my number removed from your naughty list?
Oakville Hydro: Yes, and you have no knowledge of the whereabouts of the previous owner of this number?
Luke: Correct, I am honestly pretty mad at bell for not providing me this information.
Oakville Hydro: What?
Luke: Thank you, byeee! Also, I am going to pull a ramsay and cancel this number so the next time you call it won't be me. I am being serious. This has nothing to do with you, it's a timing thing! I don't know if you want to make a note in your system or something.

VBS Launched their ‘Toxic Linfen’ series. I know...

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 22:23:00 -0400

VBS Launched their ‘Toxic Linfen’ series.

I know that a lot of the vigeant.dudevice.com readers like the toxic series, and I know that a lot of the vigeant.dudevice.com readers who don’t know about the toxic series would really enjoy it.

China is a very dirty place.

I am looking forward to installments 2 through 5

It’s this kind of stuff that makes me excited about...

Wed, 06 Aug 2008 21:46:05 -0400

It’s this kind of stuff that makes me excited about working in technology.

(Warning - very nerdy)

What’s the deal with dudevice.com?

Tue, 05 Aug 2008 22:19:57 -0400

What’s the deal with dudevice.com?

My friend Tyler Kenyon takes a picture a day while he lives his...

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 21:52:29 -0400

My friend Tyler Kenyon takes a picture a day while he lives his exciting life in London. Yet, in all that time that he has been doing this he has not once taken a picture for me. This is fair, as he as has not had a reason to. Now he does, I want a background picture for my iPhone Tyler Kenyon. It needs to be shot in portrait, and it needs to be meaningful to me.

When this occurs, I will change the current Kenyon background gracing my iPhone screen.

Gnocchi with chorizo, pears, and tomatoes, in red pepper oil is...

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 19:11:00 -0400

Gnocchi with chorizo, pears, and tomatoes, in red pepper oil is slowly entering my stomach.