July 5, 2008

My Poor Heart

There are a lot of people my age at my current client, they work on the trendy marketing floor one above the finance and computer system floor that I work on. Of the younger people, there is a pretty girl who sits in a cubicle that I pass every time I head to a specific meeting room. Because of this, I booked a lot of meetings in this meeting room… and successfully progressed our relationship from ‘Eye-contact, eyes back on the computer’ to ‘Eye-contact, smile, eyes back on the computer’… things were going well. I really thought that before the project ended I might have even said hello… but then the worst thing imaginable happened.

I pulled into the work parking lot at 7:55 am Wednesday morning, I got out of my car, went to get my laptop out of the trunk of my car, and saw her three parking spots over. I looked at her and thought “Helllllllo”,  then looked behind her and thought “Ohhhh nooo”. My future fiancee was getting her female briefcase out of the back-seat of her PT Cruiser.

I can deal with imperfections, if when we were introduced at work our handshake revealed that she had a sixth finger, I would be fine with that. If when we were vacationing in the Hamptons I found out that she takes pills to surpress tail growth, I would be fine with that. Those things are out of her control, the PT cruiser is not.

I have comprised a short list of possible PT Cruiser justifications she could present me that would make everything turn back to the way it was:

  1.  It is her parents car, and she hates driving it.
  2.  Someone has kidnapped her parents and the kidnapper demanded that she must drive a PT cruiser for a year for them to be released.
  3. She is driving it sarcastically… in the sense that it’s a very expensive joke.
  4. She is blind.

If the best excuse she has is something along the lines of “It was a really good deal” - this relationship (that she has no idea she is in) will be over.

I would rather date a smoker than a cruiser.